Quiet Clarity is a 2x/week newsletter and podcast for people who want to build a life of presence, depth, and deliberate intention.
What actually brings the right things or people into your life?
Being super social? Saying yes to everything? Knowing the right people?
We chase connections, force opportunities, accumulate contacts thinking more is better.
But what if the answer isn't adding more but leaking less?
Where It Showed Up in My Life
I used to say yes to everything, thinking that's how opportunities came.
Every networking event, every group hangout, every project that seemed "smart."
But I noticed something strange: the more I said yes, the more drained I felt.
Like I was leaking energy through a thousand tiny holes.
What the Wisdom Reveals
There's an old Sufi story about a wise man who was asked the secret to his magnetism.
People traveled from distant lands just to be in his presence.
Kings sought his counsel. Students begged to learn from him.
"Do you meditate for hours?" they asked. "Do you practice special techniques?"
The wise man smiled. "I used to chase wisdom everywhere. I attended every gathering, read every book, sought every teacher."
"But I noticed something strange. The more I chased, the more wisdom eluded me. I was like a bucket with holes, filling myself only to leak it all away."
"So I began differently. Instead of adding more, I started noticing where I leaked."
He explained how he stopped attending gatherings that drained him, even if important people were there.
He stopped reading books that didn't resonate, even if everyone praised them.
He stopped maintaining relationships that felt heavy, even if they seemed advantageous.
"With each leak I plugged, something magical happened. I didn't need to chase anymore. What was meant for me began finding me."
"The secret isn't to become a bigger bucket. It's to stop being a broken one."
People thought his magnetism came from what he did.
But it came from what he stopped doing.
When you stop leaking energy to the wrong things, you become a beacon for the right ones.
How I'm Trying to Live Now
Where am I leaking energy that could be flowing toward what lights me up?
I've started using what I call the Life Van Theory.
Imagine driving a van with your forever friends. Some sit up front, some in the middle, some in back.
As you evolve, the seating might change. New passengers come aboard.
You don't kick anyone out, but you make space for those aligned with who you're becoming.
It means honest communication: "I'm exploring something different right now."
The people who really care will understand.
When you say yes to what makes you feel alive, you give others permission to do the same.
Start noticing:
Which activities expand you versus drain you
Which relationships feel mutual versus one-sided
Which goals are yours versus inherited expectations
Then slowly, gently, start plugging the leaks.
Say no to the committee that sounds impressive but feels heavy.
Step back from the friend group that leaves you exhausted.
Stop forcing connections that don't flow naturally.
You're not being selfish; you're being aligned.
And when you stop leaking energy to the wrong things, watch how the right ones suddenly find you.
Because a lighthouse doesn't chase ships; it just stops dimming its light for those sailing in the wrong direction.
