Quiet Clarity is a 2x/week newsletter and podcast for people who want to build a life of presence, depth, and deliberate intention.
Many of us are always searching.
How can I suffer less? How can I live in peace? How can I reach the end with no regrets?
You read the books, listen to the podcasts, collect wisdom from masters.
What if the problem isn't finding the truth, but remembering you never lost it.
Where It Showed Up in My Life
I thought I knew who I was: my profession, my relationships, my achievements.
These felt great on the outside, made me feel on top of the world.
But deep down, I felt incomplete without them.
Then came the fractures. Some chosen, some forced upon me.
Relationships ended. Identities I treasured fell apart.
Suddenly I didn't know what to attach my identity to anymore.
What the Wisdom Reveals
In his book "Being Myself," Rupert Spira tells a profound story about an actor named John Smith.
John plays King Lear in a theater production.
Before the curtains rise, he knows exactly who he is: John Smith, an actor.
But as the play unfolds, something strange happens.
John becomes so immersed in the role that he starts thinking like King Lear, feeling like King Lear, suffering like King Lear.
After the show ends, his friend finds him backstage, visibly upset.
"What's wrong?" the friend asks.
"My kingdom is falling apart," John replies. "I don't know who I am anymore."
The friend is confused. "But you're not King Lear. You're John Smith. The play is over."
It takes a long conversation before John finally remembers: he's not actually King Lear.
The moment he remembers, the tension leaves his body. The suffering fades.
He was never the king losing his kingdom. He was always the actor, whole and complete.
We are all John Smith, so lost in our roles that we've forgotten we're the ones playing them.
The role of entrepreneur, parent, attractive person, successful professional.
We think we ARE these things, and when they're threatened, we suffer like King Lear.
But what if you could play your roles fully while remembering you're the actor, not the character?
How I'm Trying to Live Now
Am I the role, or am I the one playing it?
I've discovered four stages we move through in remembering who we really are:
The Mask: When we believe we ARE our external identities.
The Fracture: When those identities break and we don't know who we are.
The Descent: When we hit bottom and discover we've been whole all along.
The Embodiment: When we return to our roles but play them from wholeness, not need.
Now I still have my profession, relationships, and goals.
But I hold them differently.
I can lose them without losing myself because I remember: I'm not King Lear, I'm John Smith.
The roles don't define me anymore. I play them, but I'm not imprisoned by them.
When something threatens my role, I ask: Is this John Smith suffering, or King Lear?
Almost always, it's the character, not the actor.
Try this: Notice where you feel incomplete without something external.
That's where you've confused yourself with your role.
Then remember: You were whole before you played any part.
Your peace was never in the kingdom you built. It's in remembering you're the one who built it.
